What is wrong with my yarn?

The following conversation took place between 11:00pm and 12:00am. (Can't you just hear Kiefer Sutherland saying that?)

T: (as he is trying to actually put coats in my yarn closet) Why do have so much yarn?
D: (I pretend not to hear.)
T: (louder) Why do you buy yarn if you aren't going to use it right away? (Now I hear him untying bags of yarn from the bar in the closet. These are projects: yarn and patterns actually in the bags, TOGETHER. They just haven't been started.)
D: All of the yarn you're moving is for a project.
T: (now obviously frustrated, it's late and I'm using skills I've learned from my students in being evasive.) That's not what I asked. Why do you buy yarn if you aren't going to use it as soon as you buy it?
D: (silence is golden, right?)
T: Well?
D: Because. (I drew this out as long as I could without making it sound whiny. Woo Hoo! He went back downstairs!!!! I don't have to explain this compulsion I have to buy ultra soft, beautiful to my eye fiber. Oh, and if it's on sale? I really have to buy it then. Has he forgotten all of the yarn shops he's visited with me and I've just bought yarn because it would be a nice hat for someone? I get a lot of hat requests from family and friends. Has he forgotten the times I've specifically been lured to shops by sales? I just mentioned to him this week that we should go to Grand Rapids this week because of a yarn sale....and he said as long as he could go to Koeze's that was fine!)

Oh well. I've escaped the yarn integration once again. The last time this happened he made me go buy new storage for my yarn. Too bad, huh 8- ) Now I have nice clear boxes and my yarn is sorted by weight and fiber. I was hoping he'd telling me to go by more boxes to store my projects but that didn't pan out. I probably should bring those three large totes of yarn up from the basement this week. He might really see some storage issues then.

Reflection

The last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions. I've had a brother-in-law die, a friend die, a great-nephew born, a friend adopt a child, and friend's son die unexpectedly. J's birth and K's adoption are bright spots to keep returning to and rejoicing over.

I still look back on our failed adoption and reflect on what happened. It was just this year when we really have been able to sort the whole thing out and I finally have peace. I can now look forward and wonder if there is a child for whom God is preparing us.

I also recently learned that a friend is expecting a baby. It was a not planned, but totally gifted from the Father. For the first time in a very long time I had that familiar ache in my heart. I felt a sudden pang of jealousy that I was able to quickly send away. I am truly happy for her and can't wait to see her new baby. It also made me begin to think once again, if I am supposed to be searching and preparing a place for a child to join our family.

For the past two days I have been looking at the faces of children trapped in orphanages overseas. Some at the same orphanage from which K was rescued (visit Reece's Rainbow to learn more). I have been praying for the children and the parents that they will one day call their own. I've restarted the old conversations with the Lord that He and I have had many times. Only he knows the answers to my questions.

So now I wait and pray, and know that I'll be fine no matter what because I have a Father who knows what I need.

Vacation

I haven't written a thing in ages. Life is flying by and I record it in my trusty journal. Who needs a blog? Apparently a lot of people. And I read them. A lot of them. I'm trying to figure out what makes me read one person's blog over another. I haven't figured it out yet. But I keep reading.

Last week I spent a frenzied week shopping, wrapping, knitting and reading. It culminated in a wonderful day at my parent's house and a migraine headache that has so far lasted 4 days, and a fun evening with the Miller's at Tom and Denise's farm.

I'm still knitting. Yesterday I made an Elf hat for Tyler. It is so very cute. If I knew where my camera was I'd upload a picture. Last week I made a hat for Dustin...again no picture. Although, I need to ask Holly or Justin to take a picture. [This is why Bev is the only one who reads my blog. My life is boring and she loves me and feels some sense of obligation to read it! Thanks Bev 8- )]

I'm reading Indigo Christmas by local author Jeanne M. Dams. I love this Hilda Johansson series. I've been convinced to give her Dorothy Martin Mysteries a try. I have number one waiting. Anyway, I began reading the Hilda Johansson series because it took place in South Bend. I still enjoy the bits of local history thrown in, but the mysteries are quite good and the character development is enjoyable.

I'm also reading Free-Range Knitter by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee. I love her blog, Yarn Harlot. The book is quirky like the author. It's a slow read for me though, I'm not used to that as a reader. As a knitter, it's nice to read something that I can relate to and know that I'm not crazy.

The third book I have going at the moment is Knit Two by Kate Jacobs. It's the sequel to the Friday Night Knitting Club. Since the first book ended in what I deemed to be a less than desirable way I am surprised to find myself reading book 2 and having book 3, Knit the Season, waiting in the pile of books to read. While knitting is in the background of these books the main theme is women and their relationships with one another. I found it difficult to get into the first book but I don't know if it was the book, of the fact that I was listening to it on tape. I definitely don't miss the actress and her strange interpretations of everyone's voices. She was working my last nerve for sure.

Last week I read two books by Lauraine Snelling, Pearls of Grace and Rebecca's Rewards. As always, I enjoyed her books. I have another waiting to be read. As a person who loves history and the Dakotas these books have always drawn me right in. Within a few pages I'm right back with the characters I've grown to know and love. I think that speaks volumes for the author. She develops characters so well it is as if you truly know them.

What are my plans for this week? Cleaning a bit for our New Year's Eve get together with the James', go to the butcher shop (I love John's in Nappanee!), knit, read, play with my Nintendo DSi, bake, knit and read. knit and read, knit and read....oh, and do my quarterly reports 8-(

This vacation will end much to soon I'm afraid. I cannot believe that one semester has ended. In retrospect it has flown by. With ISTEP coming up I'm fairly certain the second semester will fester.

Hello World!

It's almost time to go back to work. That makes me sad. I don't feel ready yet. Next week I have a training for special ed and the following week I have two days of meetings. The next week is back to work. Where did my vacation go?

I did ready 36 books so far this summer! I feel pretty good about that. Only one of them was a book I would never recommend. Today I looked a someones online reading list and saw a bunch of nonfiction at which I'd love to look. Too bad I have a pile of my own next to the bed, bought and paid for waiting to be read.

Oh, and my hair whine from my last post...I never did a thing about that. Ted said I don't have gray hair. Just one more reason to love him. I do need a hair cut. That won't happen until I donate it or I just get brave.

Tonight I bought some wheat and egg free frozen waffles at the grocery store. I was so excited. The first brand I found contained citric acid (of course). I almost gave up and walked away. Then I found the brand I bought. They were cheaper and I'm not allergic to anything in them. WOO HOO! I've been craving waffles and this made my day. I'll be eating them tomorrow with crushed pineapple...yummy.

Creeping Through the Cobwebs

WOW! Let me dust off a seat! It's been awhile since March 6th when I last took the time to share some meaningless drivel from my life with you. Today's post won't disappoint. It's a little bit meaningless, and a little bit drively (can I do that to the word drivel?).

I've been getting gray hair for about 9 months (or maybe a year)...but now it's really noticeable and it's bothering me. I've never been vain so it bothers me that I'm bothered. The simple solution would be to just color my hair, right? Well...it's not that simple. I have a list of reasons and I'm going to bore you with it. Notice, if you will, the slight redundancies and subtle whining:

*I like my hair color...there is no way to match it exactly...I KNOW IT!!!!
*I could never color my own hair with a do it yourself color kit.
*I'm too cheap to pay someone to do it.
*I don't trust anyone to do it (even though my best friend is a beautician, a friend from HS is a
beautician, a niece is a beautician, and the list goes on).
*I don't want people to think, "Oh, Dawn started coloring her hair."
*I don't want people to think, "That doesn't look like Dawn's natural hair color."
*I don't want this thought going through someone's mind, "OMG, what did she do to her hair!?"
*I REALLY don't want people to ask me if I colored my hair.
*I don't want to start coloring my hair and then have to keep coloring it.
etc.

Needless to say, at some point this summer I will probably get my hair colored and I will probably not do it myself. I wouldn't want to blame myself if anything went horribly wrong with the color job.

Who will do it remains to be seen. It can't be a friend or a relative. Can you imagine having to look them in the face if they mess my hair up? No, they have to be left in reserves in case I need a repair job. They need to be left as hair heroes.

No matter who does the job it will, however, involve prayer. I wonder if the Lord gets many prayers about things of this nature?

It's Friday

Ted's bringing home supper!

-I have one ISTEP to make up on Monday...G probably thinks staying home today got him out of that test...think again!
-L is retiring this year. I will miss her. Having her at work has meant so much to me these last 4 years. Now she will get to be with her grandkids and do whatever she is led...lucky duck!
-I'm tired and hungry...how exciting is that?

I am not...

the shapest knife in the block.

Since coming home from work nearly everything I have eaten has including an ingredient to which I am allergic. My tongue and throat hurt. I have itchy skin. I knew exactly what I was doing. I made a consious choice to consume these toxins. Now, I must suffer.

Tomorrow, I'm back on the good food wagon.

Our First Date

In July Ted and I will be married for 20 years. It doesn't seem like that much time has passed. We had our first date in August of 1987. Ted called me the afternoon after we met and asked me out. I was glad because I was hoping he would call.
We went too see Can't Buy Me Love. It was playing at the Concord Mall in Elkhart. One of the things I will never forget about that date was Ted driving by the theater. He was just talking away and got all the way to JC Penney before he looked at me and said, "Where is that movie theatre anyway?" I just smiled and hitched my thumb back as I said, "Back there." He turned around and went back. I'm sure he was embarrassed. I mean, it was right in front of him as he drove by...
We enjoyed the movie. We've never seen it since, even when it plays on TV. But I have fond memories of it. Afterwards we went and talked for a couple of hours. To this day Ted says that was one of the things he loved, how easy it was to talk to me.
I love my husband. God has blessed me with the perfect mate for me 8- )

What did you do on your first date with your husband (or wife...I think one of you is a man)?

I don't know...very loud sigh?

On any given day I am watching one of my loved ones making poor decisions. They are young adults. It happens. I've been there myself. I try not to "interfere" and sometimes I'm looking for duct tape for my own mouth. Tonight I'm hunting down the duct tape as I watch someone I love very, very much act like they left their brain at an unknown location. Maybe it's with my duct tape (lost).

And so I say to you, Once Intelligent Being...you are not crazy...use the brain God gave you and move on...you are worth so much more than you are accepting in all of this mess.

Ugh

The enemy swoops in and strikes when you least expect him. He's sneaky, that devil. He's patient too. He's willing to lie in wait for as long as it takes.

I will not let him win. I will not let him smile at the pain he has caused me today. Instead, I will hold on to my God who stands firmly beside me. He supports me, he is my shield.

Mothman, ACK!

I hope I have just scared myself unnecessarily. I thought I saw a baby Mothman in my kitchen. If I did I'm sure it was the first in-home sighting of this creepy monster. I told Ted. He laughed. He never said a word. He simply laughed. Then he went back to watching the end of this never ending football game. Apparently the fact that there could be a floaty, spooky monster downstairs doesn't matter. I should take that as a sign. "A sign of what?," you ask. That I'm loopy and I watched too many episodes of Monster Quest last night before I went to sleep.

My travels

This are the states that have seen my feet:



create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

25 Random Things About Me

1. I love winter and it drives me nuts when people complain about the cold weather. I can't imagine living in a warm climate.
2. This summer my husband and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage.
3. I am allergic to 4 of the top 8 food allergens; milk, eggs, wheat, and peanuts. I'm currently in a desensitization program so I am able to have certain amounts of these each day. I miss my peanut butter.
4. I'm a wee bit obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder. I've studied her life, traveled to her homes, and studied the lives of her friends and family members. My history loving husband has come along for the ride. I've even been able to get one of my cousins and her children to visit Laura's birthplace, OH, and another cousin too. And then...I always manage to get a student or two liking her every year.
5. I keep several journals. I love to write about what's going on, what I'm praying about, dreaming about, I make lists, I plan, and I record every book I read. And then, because I'm goofy, I decorate pages with stickers, I use different colored ink, and I draw pictures with crayons and markers. My journals are great. Oh, and I blog. My blog is not that great.
6. I love to write. Someday I would love to have one of my projects published.
7. I am a Christ Follower. It is the biggest piece of who I am.
8. I love to read. During the summer I read a book a day. Yes, that means all I am doing all day long is reading.
9. I also love to knit. I have many projects going at one time.
10. Wow, this is only number 10. I only like even numbers. I think odd numbers are ugly. I also think the numbers containing the numeral 6 are ugly. Pretty weird, huh?
11. July 29th is my favorite day of the summer. The summer needs a holiday and I think that should be it. Just ask Alli and Sarah. Mark your calendars people!
12. I've donated my hair to Locks of Love 3 times and I think I'm about ready for my 4th donation.
13. I am afraid of bridges and head lice.
14. My favorite colors in junior high were pink and green...they still are...just not together.
15. I love Hello Kitty. Ted bought me a Hello Kitty desk lamp for Christmas. One of my students is in love with it 8-) We love Hello Kitty together. I am in deep like with Choco Cat.
16. I like being connected to my cousins on the Internet. It's a little sad really that I should need a tool like Facebook or email to "talk" to my family. Oops...I'm part loser.
17. I become easily addicted to reality shows, even those that I really shouldn't be watching. Since I don't watch that much tv that means my limited viewing time is wasted on trash. Except for the Deadliest Catch and Amazing Race, they are awesome.
18. My favorite show is The Office. My favorite character...maybe Dwight...
19. Perfume tends to give me headaches...but not the one I wear to work...Love's Baby Soft. It's pink and it smells good.20. My husband told me if I win $2 million I can quit my job. But, I never play the lottery or gamble. So, does anyone know where I can win $2 million? Guaranteed?
21. I am not proofreading this...it's taking too long and I don't want to read it again 8-) #21 I hate editing my own writing. I love editing the work of others.
22. I love to ride my bike. In the summer Ted and I go for rides late at night and see all the deer that live behind us. It's cool.
23. Asthma sucks.
24. Migraines suck.
25. I have the greatest husband in the world!

Google Name Meme

Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
Dawn needs a tripod. (I did not know that).

Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
Dawn looks like the lady from Roger Rabbit. (I look like a cartoon character?)

Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
Dawn says being the world's oldest natural mother is a blessing. (Since I would love to be a mother, I guess I might just agree with this)

Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
Dawn wants a piece of heaven. (the second one said Dawn wants to start a family)

Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
Dawn does not love you enough to send you a gift-wrapped item. (that's harsh)

Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
Dawn hates snowballs. (I hate being hit by them)

Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
Dawn asks you to kill your own. (your own what?)

Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search
Dawn likes Alice very much and protects her. (I wonder what I'd have to protect Alice from at church)

Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
Dawn eats the letter H. (sure!)

Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
Dawn wears it best. 8-)

Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
Dawn was arrested for theft in the fourth degree. She had taken several items of clothing from a department store. (not me!)

Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
Dawn goes on a hunger strike in protest. (good idea)

my next book

I woke up with a book idea this morning. I wrote that up before I lost it in the black hole between my ears. Then nothing...writers block. It's a common occurrence for me.


In church a few more lines popped out. They were written on the bulletin. Now I'm going to have to start carrying my little notebook with me. Hopefully this won't become a problem at work. Of course, sometimes I journal when the kids are journaling. I can write then, YAY! Usually, when I have time to write things just flow. They don't shoot out spontaneously between writing sessions.


I bet most of my faithful readers (okay, I know I have at least 3 readers) don't even know that I write. You see this mess I post online and you're thinking...this poor delusional woman calls herself a writer? Well you see...here at "I've been thinking..." I don't have to worry about CUPS (capitalization, usage, punctuation and spelling). I just type.


So, I'm sitting here at the computer looking at my latest work and waiting for more good stuff to pop into my head. So far...nothing. What's different about this idea is I didn't come up with it on my own. This is a God thing. Later I'm going to let Teedo Bandito read it because I also get the feeling he's supposed to be working on this too (he just doesn't know it yet).

Oh...and I started Job over, reading it aloud to Ted because I'm thinking this is a wacky story. Do I get any input from the Mr.? Nope. He just listened. He can read it on his own. I'll go back to where I was. Poor Job. Derry quoted Job 42 in church today. Kind of interesting since we're studying Joshua. It's a God thing.

With friends like them...

I think Job needs new friends. He is in pain and trying to sort out why he is covered in sores and wondering why he was ever born. (That was a great sentence!) Next to him are his 3 amigos. For everything Job has to say one of those smarties comes back with, "you must really have messed up for God to do this to you" or something like that. Get new friends Job. I don't know how much more of them I can take.

Saturday

-It's nippy outside.
-Breezy too.
-T. bought baked goods from his Amish friend. I can't eat any of it. 8-(
-We went to the butcher shop and bought a bunch of meat. When we arrived home I learned that our meat was ready from the butcher in Wisconsin. My freezer runneth over.
-I want a pink laptop. T. says, "Um, I don't think so." Who will win?
-My favorite student has moved and will be going to a new school. I am very sad.

Today is NOT Friday

even if you thought it should have been...sorry.

Tammy caught the frostbite last week. Just a wee spot on her finger. Enough to hurt like a bugger. She has to wear a burn bandage over the blister. Poor girl. There is a lesson to be learned in this. Do not change a tire without gloves on in -17 degree temps and hold your finger on the metal. You WILL catch the frostbite guaranteed.

Last night I left Job covered in sores and scraping them. That had to hurt beyond anything I can imagine right now (even in day 3 of migraines). Yet, he would not curse the Lord. Of course before I closed my life manual Job was pretty much begging to die and his friends were beginning to talk to him. I'd like to think if all I had was lost that my faith, my love for God would never fail and I would praise Him without hesitation.

Oh, and something else I saw play out once again today...
Crazy is as crazy does.
Some adults do not know how to pick their battles. They also seem to find enjoyment in causing sadness. 8-( My poor little flower. Her heart was broken.

Gomer

Gomer is the son of Japheth.
Gomer is the cousin of Goober
Gomer is the fan of Third Day.
You've come a long way Gomer.

Um...whatever

*migraine all day
*medication is not working
*I'm resorting to pain medication next...I hate the side-effects
*inauguration overload
*Noah just left the ark with his fam and the animals....I don't think I'll finish in a year since I'm already 17 days behind (guess what I'm reading)
*tomorrow is already Wednesday...I'm confused
*job stress on red alert...ISTART7 you are a bad word!
*pray for Adam's family...they will miss him
*I think I'm going to eat a popsicle and go to bed
*goodnight

I love my peanut allergy...

... this week anyway! All of the recalls and talk of salmonella is sad. Normally I'd be upset and dumping the peanut butter out of the cupboard. Not this time! We don't have any peanut butter. Last week I was once again mourning extra crunchy peanut butter. I wanted to eat a granny smith apple smothered in Jiff. This week, I'm thinking, "Peanut butter, who needs it?"

I hope Francie dumped her PB. Last time she was eating recalled Peter Pan until her son checked the jar and pitched it out. I guess I better email her. Off to save a friend from stomach cramps and, well, the rest of the unpleasant symptoms of salmonella poisoning.

The Deer

We have a herd of approximately 13 deer living in the woods behind our house (if I knew house to upload a photo on to this blog, here is were you would see one of the many photos I have of them). In the winter I love to look out the second floor windows and see where they walk at night. Last night after it snowed one decided to venture into the front yard. But, rather then jump our fence it decided to cut through the neighbors yard and walk around which allowed my backyard to remain pristine. I believe while exploring the "street side" of the neighborhood the lone deer also stopped to nibble a branch or two from the neighbor's tree. My beautiful, yet needs to be pruned, Maple remained unscathed. The deer then appears to have walked down the sidewalk where I'm guessing it went to the pond which was probably it's original destination.
I love watching the deer. Everyday at 5:15 you can look out across the field and watch them emerge from the trees to begin eating leftover soybeans. I've been able to stand 2 feet away from a fawn and stare into it's eyes. It watched me quietly walk toward it until we stood that measured distance apart. It didn't have any sense of fear, until it's mother snorted from about 10 feet away and I almost wet myself. The fawn took off and so did I. I turned quickly though to watch mother and baby bound across the field. It was so beautiful (once I realize the I wasn't about to star in "When Animals Attack").
God has blessed us with so much beauty. How often do we take time to stop and enjoy what is right in front of us? How often do we thank Him for all of the splendor?

confusion

I may be offended
but
it is not for me to forgive what was said.
Do I need to continue to replay the words
in my head
over
and
over?
I don't think so...
but I do.
Wouldn't it be nice if I could turn off a switch
and the words would be gone?
Forgotten.
Perhaps they will leave with sleep.

Sadly, I have let words, from a person with whom I have very little connection, bother me.
That...is confusing.

Don't "catch the frostbite"

A few months ago one of my students had a bit of a meltdown over a spelling test. He didn't want to take one. The meltdown became such an issue I had to call his mother and ended up leaving a message on her phone. In the meantime he decided he was going to have to run away from home because once his mother found out what was going on he was going to be in trouble. At this point he had the undivided attention of 2 adults and 5 children ( about 4 others found the whole tantrum thing too much and went to work on the computers, lucky them). My para K. starts discussing the cons of running away with him and mentions that it is just too cold outside to run away to his grandpa's. Out of his mouth popped one of my favorite quotes of the year..."I'm going...I don't care if I catch the frostbite!"

I hope he stayed inside today. If not, he caught it for sure.